Mom.Single
Who is Mom.Single?

Well, there are quite a few answers to that question but only one that matters. I’m a single mom with the realization that in my life, as with many others like me the “Mom” aspect of my life will always come before the “Single” and fun parts. Not to say that being a mom isn’t fun, it is both rewarding and entertaining but it’s also a lot of work. Being a mom, being a parent is hard whether or not you have a supportive spouse or a house full of nannies. Being a parent, a concerned, well-meaning, put your child’s needs before your own kind of parent is a full-time, unpaid position and sometimes, we all need to vent.

That’s where this blog comes in. It’s a safe place where parents, single or otherwise, can enjoy the humor and the insanity of parenthood. A place for venting. A place for sarcasm. And on occasion, a place for advice and compassion.

So, whether you are a single parent, a married parent, a nanny who deals with parents, or a guy who’s contemplating dating a parent (which I must applaud you for) this is the place for you. Let me welcome you with open arms and a sense of humor. Here, you all belong.

PS-If you’re a child, go to bed. No one thought to tell us this shit before we had kids and we’re not going to be nice enough to let you in on all of this.
Where Morality Meets Insanity: The Uterus.

I am a life-loving, honorable man and, as such, the uterus-wielding members of our society have begun to offend me. They may pretend to be ‘reasonable’ and even ‘intelligent’ (how cute of them) but I see how they vote. These card-carrying members of the Uterus Club vote for rights. They vote that they should be able to make decisions for themselves (apparently choosing what’s for dinner no longer appeases them).

Thankfully, as we all know, their votes don’t count. Not really. We have them outnumbered in Congress. We outrank them in every branch of Government. The Senate barely even lets them speak (remember when that one WOMAN thought she could say ‘Vagina’ and still talk to us? Lol). As long as we have them in this vulnerable state, pinned beneath us in the societal manner, we need to make sure we have OUR way with them. If not now, it will be harder to do later (imagine if we’d let Hilary Clinton stay relevant in the States after thinking she had the power to run for President!). Still, I have concerns, as I’m not entirely certain the electronic processes used in the general election are able to automatically dismiss all female votes.

Now, is certainly the time to act and I have a few suggestions. Women are inferior to us for many reasons but one of the easiest ways to keep control of them is to remind them how helpless they really are. What better way to do that than to punish victims of rape? We can’t say it that way, of course, but it’s perfectly within our authority to make sure victims of rape, incest, or women too weak to carry a child to term are unable to access abortions. Making sure those WOMEN have to spend 9 months (more like 10 really) in a prison of their violator’s making only to then have their bodies ripped to shreds (a potentially fatal event…easy way to thin their numbers) will ensure none of them feel safe or protected. We need to make sure they know they are helpless… having babies is a very effective means of control.

There will be some fallout for us when this goes public but I have some ways to combat that. Listen to this: Yes, some victims of incest will be forced to bear their offender’s child. Yes, some women (young children themselves) will die because I value life that much. LIFE is too important to let a WOMAN get in the way of it. Women are biologically too fragile to understand the importance of this decision without involving their emotions. LIFE is valuable. Not the mother’s, certainly, but all other lives really are. So, we must take this decision out of their emotional hands to ensure LIFE is preserved. It’s our job to intervene. It’s our job, as men, to make sure women bear the children…I mean, a baby born of rape is still a baby, right? And let’s be honest, no woman EVER gets pregnant from rape. Not if they’re really raped.

See how I did that? We focus on the sanctity of life. Then, we say we’re doing it for the good of women because the law is there to protect them. We make sure they don’t have access to things when they’re emotional (lol…like they’re ever not!). And then, to top if off in a very successful manner, we discredit any woman who ‘claims’ to have become pregnant from a rape.

This last bit is oh so easy to do. Did you know that most victims of rape blame themselves anyway?!?! They are such easy targets. All we have to do is stand up and say that in cases of ‘legitimate rape’ a woman CAN’T get pregnant. And guess what? They’re so weak and broken that they’ll easily blame themselves! Some of them, upon hearing such things, might even commit suicide (this equals less votes for them).

If people still don’t take our side, let’s remind them that those women who ‘claim’ rape (you know the ones I mean) should be punished. We are really doing the country a service by forcing them through this whole ordeal. I mean, how dare they defame the good name of a MAN! Yes, he may have put something in your drink but YOU are the one who drank it! Yes, he may have beat you, knocked you to the ground, and pinned you there before forcing himself into you but…you married him. We all know marriage is consent. It’s not rape. Yes, you may have been twelve and been coerced into the act but he never FORCED you. It can’t be rape if it isn’t ‘forcible’ (see: Paul Ryan’s original proposal to redefine rape to only mean ‘forcible’ rape…he’s an excellent example for all these ideas).

If we all ban together (it’s not like they stand much of a chance against us MEN), we should be able to defeat them within one Presidential term. We may even defeat them sooner if circumstances cause the Vice President to take over (hehehe…remember when he said it was only the President’s policies that mattered?!?!).

This issue is of the utmost importance and I thank you in advance for your expedient response (and motion).

Sincerely,

One of You (Not One of THEM)

PS-We should also make sure to remove all access to birth control. Our attempts to use unequal pay to keep women out of the workplace haven’t been as successful as we hoped. Let’s make sure they have to keep having babies (ALL THE TIME) so they don’t keep coming to work with us.

PPS-We still on for golf on Saturday?

    1. 2 notesTimestamp: Thursday 2012/08/23 4:58:00toddakinGOPwomen'srightsabortionpaulryanmittromneypoliticsbirthcontrol
    1. momsingle posted this